welcome to rsspoetry


English as we know it

Search:
Refresh this page for more
Refresh this page for more
Refresh this page for more
Refresh this page for more

Home | Humor


What Could You Do Without?

By: Ben Needles

There are lots of things I could do without - like more people moving to Southern California. Judging by the freeways, there are too many people now. There are too many mathematicians. Those are the drivers who take the shortest route between two points - which includes crossing from the far lane and cutting in front of me to get to an exit. The absent-minded professors are drivers who forget to use their directional signals when they change lanes, causing me to jam on my brakes to avoid hitting their - class. Then there are the old boyfriend drivers. They follow too closely, refusing to be a passing fancy.

I wish boys could do without the hip hop look. What started with African-American and Latino youth in the Bronx has spread worldwide. Fine - run with it. Just dont try to run in the oversized pants. I have no idea what keeps them up - unless its peer pressure.

At the gym, in cars, on the street - it seems no one can do without bottled water - but according to a kidney expert at the University of Pennsylvania, we can. He dispels five myths about water. First, theres no scientific reason for needing to drink eight glasses of water a day. Second, water doesnt remove toxins from the blood - the kidney does. Third, because the body is 60% water, drinking a few glasses of water a day wont make skin healthier. Fourth, drinking water only helps with weight loss if it prevents us from putting something else in our mouth. And fifth, dehydration doesnt occur unless we lose 2% of our body weight. Although the American College of Sports Medicine advices athletes to drink 16oz of fluid a couple of hours before activity, most of us arent athletes. Basically, theres one way to know if we need water. We feel thirsty.

Although I wanted to do without a cell phone - although I wanted to keep my car a no-call zone, a place where I could give myself a timeout from the world, I now have a cell phone - and I couldnt do without it. I use it when Im late, when I need directions and when my car breaks down. Oh yes, and I used it to find my husband when I was lost in a Las Vegas Casino. Unfortunately, having a cell phone didnt help me find my lost money.

Article Source: http://www.rsspoetry.com

About the Author (text)

Knight Pierce Hirst takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at knightwatch.typepad.com

Lawn Mower

Please Rate this Poem

 

Not yet Rated

Click the XML Icon Above to Receive Humor Poetry Via RSS!
Refresh this page for more
Refresh this page for more
Refresh this page for more
Refresh this page for more

Powered by Article Dashboard